


A Letter From Julius

by TheCrazyGeek



Series: Vampire Malcolm [3]
Category: Thick of It (UK)
Genre: Backstory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 05:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrazyGeek/pseuds/TheCrazyGeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night Julius Nicholson turned Malcolm Tucker into one of the undead, he left a note behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Letter From Julius

_**The night Julius Nicholson turned Malcolm Tucker into a vampire, he left before Malcolm woke up from the ordeal. Behind, he left a note…** _

_It had been years and Malcolm wasn’t a sentimental man so he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t binned the fucking note by now._

_Probably because it was a reminder that he once had been human. Fucking Julius had even written it like a formal letter from his estate in the country the fucking prick. Malcolm still found himself smoothing a finger over the expensive smooth paper and reading the note again…._

26th April 2010

From the Desk of Lord Julius Nicholson.

Dear Malcolm,

Please let me ask your forgiveness at the very start of this missive for the cowardly way I have departed this evening and left you behind to awaken to this new life. I am well aware of how disorientating this can be and so I am going to try and impart as much knowledge as I can here. If you require more, you have only to find me although I will please beg of you to at least leave it a month or so as I have a rather important ambassadorial journey to undertake before then.

I am sure you are now aware that I am, in fact, what is commonly called a ‘vampire’ and for that matter, so are you as of this moment and forever more. I did it to save your life as during our _tussle_ in the office I drained you to the point of near death (oh I am ashamed how little control I have around you) and without that action you would not now be breathing.

Yes, vampires breathe. Our hearts also beat and we do not crumble to dust in the daylight (you will find it hurts your eyes somewhat – allow me to recommend a pair of tinted glasses?) nor can we fly or turn into bats. A prospect I found singularly revolting in any case

We are immortal though – allowing for not being killed by some juvenile blonde called ‘Buffy’ (an attempt at humour to lighten this moment, I do apologise) – and can only be killed by decapitation or having our hearts removed.

I know you will ask this so allow me to furnish you with the information here: I am over 100 years old but have changed my name at least twice to maintain an existence resembling our mortal kin. You may wish to consider this in the future if you decide to remain in London as it is decidedly difficult to persuade people that you just ‘age well’ after 40+ years in the same form.

Vampires such as we can eat food and drink like normal humans, as you may have noticed I remain fond of the odd biscuit and curry, but we regrettably obtain no sustenance from it. For that we require the _sanguine_ , the red blood of living creatures as without it we become quite unable to function.

I would be most distressed to learn that you have used this as a license to start gnawing on the necks of hapless MPs and press staff. Animal blood does just as well and there are a number of butchers shops in the area that will supply it for a modest fee – I have emailed you a list, do say it is for cooking however and do not drink it in front of other people. It is _most unpleasant_ to watch.

You will find that if you are very hungry or especially _tempted_ around people that your fang teeth will elongate and your eyes will begin to glow a most striking amber colour. In the interests of keeping your, shall we say, _new status_ hidden I recommend avoiding undue temptation as long teeth and glowing eyes are rather difficult to explain.

Other powers, such as persuasion over lesser-willed people, you may develop in time. I do not wish to sound arrogant but I am quite the power in the vampiric circles of England and as my fledgling you will inherit some of those abilities sooner than most. Again I must implore you to not abuse them and especially be careful whom you share this knowledge with.

I am so sorry though, beloved offspring, that I am not here to witness you waking up and looking out upon the world with your new enhanced senses. I have the impression that you will be less than pleased at what I have done and I wish for you to have some time to get used to your new life without the pressure of having me around.

Make no mistake though Malcolm. I made you and have a significant amount of control because of that, so if you were to try and hunt me down with the sole intent of killing me – I would know long before you got here and you would find it _quite_ impossible to enact the deed.

Yours _in eternal_ ,

Julius


End file.
